She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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