so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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