I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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