Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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