Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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