I wish I only lived at night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
