So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
