I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
