You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
