he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
