god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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