u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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