Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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