i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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