Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
