if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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