Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
