whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
