he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
