Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
