So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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