i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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