I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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