Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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