was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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