True but thats because hes a fetus.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
