Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
