she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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