i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
