WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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