I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
