Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
