Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
