I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
