best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
