phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
