Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
