Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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