He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
