i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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