How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
