According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
