i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
