his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
