It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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