You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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