its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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