And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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