He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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