then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
