Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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