Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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