He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
