Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
